Remove Your Filters — Let Your Readers Experience the Scene
What are filters?
They are words in a sentence which create distance. They create a kind of barrier which pushes the reader from the immediacy of the scene and reminds them they are observing the action instead of experiencing it along with the character.
As writers we want to involve our readers in the scene. We want them to connect with the characters, because once the reader connects emotionally, they will care and will stick with those characters to the last page.
Here are those filter words I keep on a sticky note beside my computer.
Thought Realized Hoped Wondered Decided Watched Noticed Knew Remembered Reminded Saw Seemed Smelled Heard Felt Started to Began to
They don’t need to be removed every time you see one, but many times, if you read the sentence aloud, and the sentence reads fine without these words — delete them.
They can usually be spotted paired with the character’s name or a pronoun.
She was stomping snow off her boots when she heard her phone ring.
Where are the filter words?
She heard. The author is telling the reader what this character heard. If this is the view-point character for the scene, the reader is already in her head. The reader already knows what she hears.
She was stomping snow off her boots when her phone rang.
Try this one.
He thought back to when his mom baked and remembered the scents of fresh bread and cinnamon.
Again the reader is with this character. Can you see how much more active the sentence is without the filters.
His mom used to bake, and the aromas of fresh bread and cinnamon filled the kitchen.
This is an easy one.
It began to rain.
Here there is more room to really make the sentence your own. Taking away the filters, began to, the sentence left behind is rather simple. It rained.
Pretty boring. Have some fun. Express yourself.
Rain poured down in giant drops that bounced off the picnic table and pounded the roof of the gazebo. (My take)
Should be three examples here.
He stared through the open window and saw a cat dart under a picnic table. He noticed the way its tail swished back and forth, back and forth. It reminded him of the pendulum on his grandfather’s clock. A gust blew in and he felt the cold wet hit his face.
1. Noticed — not needed because the reader is in this characters point-of-view. Who else would be noticing the cat?
2. Remind and Thought — again when the reader is in the character’s POV they know who is remembering and thinking.
3. Felt — since the cold wet is hitting his face reader doesn’t need to be told (remember — show don’t tell), that he can feel it.
A word about the word felt. When it is being used as a tactile word it is being used correctly. Remember to look for a name or pronoun in front of it.
Jane felt the best thing to do was to tell the teacher.
Using, Jane felt, makes it a filter word.
The best thing to do was to tell the teacher.
Now the reader is thinking with Jane.
Her skin felt soft beneath his fingertips.
Correct use of the word felt. The reader feels what he feels.
These pesky words can easily sneak into your manuscript, but taking the time to do a search and delete as many as you can will engage your readers with the story and make your writing shine.
